I think it's partly a result of living in an economy where few of us have money to buy houses and have kids.
At the same time, you describe the "Great Sacrifice" of feminist dating, which is that many young women are loathe to sound "needy," meaning they don't ask for anything in their relationships.
They say feminists hate men, but I think that's a very negative caricature of men, suggesting that men are so fragile and sensitive that if you ask them out you will ruin society as we know it. Dating books often warn about the perils of the loss of men's breadwinner status.
The radical approach is being really introspective about the things you need, and accepting yourself for the things you need, and then going out to look for it – or not going out to look for it and being okay with that.
You suggest that media and psychologists who slam man boys are like the dating book authors who berate single women.
I think it's a really problematic caricature, but it is loosely based on reality.
Each chapter was a caricature of a woman – Busy Girl, Needy Girl, Whiny Girl – and advice on how not to be that girl, including, "Don't talk about your job too much" and "Don't ask when he's going to call." These dating books fall into a long tradition of men diagnosing women and their nervousness.
Your argument is that the dating self-help industry, not feminism, is ruining women's love lives.